To Korea

After an enormous amount of contemplation I have finally decided to take a job teaching English in Jeonju, S. Korea. This decision was easily one of the most difficult that I have ever made. I spoke with almost everyone I met about it, trying to weight the pros and cons. I came to the decision that I would not go to S. Korea. I was in love with a young lady and leaving her seemed unbearable. I was also finally carving out a nice little niche and life for myself in the Twin Cities and changing the course of that seemed troubling. I was getting comfortable with my life. Additionally, there was a chance that I could get a job working for a wine distribution company. I had been trying to break into that business for a few years and I was not sure I could, or should, pass up the opportunity to possibly get involved in that industry. After making the decision not to go I told everyone I knew that I would be staying here in the states. My close group of friends (the family) and my partner were all very excited. After I made that choice and started to tell people that I wasn’t going I had an uneasy feeling in my heart and stomach. It stayed with me most of the time and I could not seem shake it. I knew that I was trying to tell myself that I had made the wrong choice, going to S. Korea was really what I wanted to do. I was overwhelmingly torn. After a lot of debate, with myself, and a lot of talking, with my partner, I reconsidered my decision, and decided that I would go to S. Korea. I felt terrible. I was going to leave the love of my life, in spite of the fact that she was encouraging me to go, I still felt awful about it. Even now I still feel bad about it. I had to try and look ahead and decide if in five years I would regret not going. Because of the ever-transient nature of existence, I try not to plan or think that far in advance, I simply don’t see the point. But, I knew, and know, that I would regret not taking this opportunity. I am going to S. Korea. I am scared. I am excited. I have so much to do.